Illustration by Cierra Brinson

With, Not For:  Helping vs. Hindering Youth

February 9, 2005 - Mix It Up students offer advice for adults working with teenagers.  What works?  What doesn’t?  And where do you fit in?

By Jeff Sapp | Curriculum Specialist/Writer, Tolerance.org

    Southern California high school seniors Cindy Lam, Andrea Teng and Min-Ling Li hear it all the time.

    “You’re the leaders of tomorrow.”

    But that common statement is misleading and incomplete.  These three young women - and so many other young people - already are leaders.

    Today.  Right now.  In their schools, homes, neighborhoods and communities.

    What happens when adult mentors forget or discount that?  What characteristics in adults make for a true ally to youth leaders?  How often do adults steal or co-opt the possibility of true youth leadership?  What hinders, and, more importantly, what helps?

    Lam, Teng and Li - who took part in the most recent Mix It Up at Lunch Day - discussed those questions, and more, with Tolerance.org.

Adults Who Hinder

    “First of all, some of the faculty and administration don’t give us the benefit of the doubt,” Lam said.  “We’re good kids.  We have high GPAs and are involved in everything we can at school.  They keep telling us they want us to be ‘well-rounded’ and then they don’t believe we’re well-rounded enough to put together even the most simple event on campus.

    Li agrees.

    “The administration seems to really restrict us,” she says.  “They make us follow the chain-of-command and it takes so long.  They harass us to get our permission forms and materials to them on time and then they often lose the forms and blame us.  Sometimes we get everything organized and then they casually change the day of our event.”

    Ten says that she finds it “interesting that administrators will say things like ‘all teachers’ feel a certain way” when the students know that isn’t true.  Many teachers support their leadership efforts.  “By using the term ‘all,’ the administration is trying to exert pressure on us to do what they want.  We’re not stupid.  We know when we’re being manipulated.”

    The three young women, all involved in their school’s Student Government Association, feel that comments like these make their SGA a “puppet government.”

    “Don’t give us leadership positions and then not let us make any decisions,” a frustrated Li says.  “Let us make decisions and learn from our mistakes and successes.”

    The teenagers also say teachers’ own disillusion often dampens young people’s desire to provide leadership.

    “Some teachers get so frustrated with the administrative politics that they don’t want to help us out anymore.  It’s just too much of a hassle for them,” Teng says.  “Teachers feel so much pressure with academics and stuff that they don’t want to give any time for anything else.”

Adults Who Help

    Fortunately, most every school has adult allies who are committed to supporting students as they develop academically as well as socially.

    Lam wishes more teachers would give credit - figuratively, with praise, and literally, with classroom extra credit - for student citizenship.  “An extra point goes a long way with us.”

    As does a little extra attention - and information.

    Li describes what she believes is the best thing a teacher  has ever done for her.

    “She knew the politics of the entire school.  She helped me shape my arguments so that I situated myself to be heard.  I think that helped me more than anything and I always think about that now when I have to accomplish some leadership task at school.”

    All three agree about one thing:  Teachers who keep trying to work with youth give them hope.

    As Li says, “They really inspire us to keep trying.”

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